Mind Your Tech Manners
The continual introduction of new personal devices can make it difficult for even those with the best of intentions to know if they are on their best behavior in the workplace.
According to Barbara Pachter, co-author of “The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes” (McGraw-Hill, 2016), there’s a learning curve with new technology that also applies to etiquette. “New technology appears and it takes us a while to figure out how to use it politely,” Pachter says. “Etiquette experts weigh in and people learn from their own mistakes. And then they change the technology and we have to learn it all over again.”
The debut of the Apple Watch has brought smartwatches to the fore as a notable recent example. While many etiquette experts would recommend that you put your phone away and on silent or vibrate during a meeting, wearable tech makes the issue trickier. “How do you ask people to take off their watches? Or should you?” says Pachter. “That’s the newest, and from an etiquette standpoint I’m still figuring it out.”
Proper etiquette for established technologies can seem more obvious. In today’s open-plan offices, courtesy demands that speakerphones be used only in conference rooms and music only listened to with headphones. Yet these issues continue to be a major source of tension among coworkers.
“A lot of times companies will have me come in because their staff is not getting along, and these are some of the issues that people are dealing with,” says Elaine Swann, lifestyle and etiquette expert and author of “Let Crazy Be Crazy” (WS Publishing, 2014). “So I try to get the message to employers and to the HR departments to set some ground rules that create a more pleasant work environment.”
In the absence of rules, privately and directly addressing the issue with the coworker gives them the opportunity to correct the behavior. They may not even be aware they’re being disruptive. “There are some who don’t care, but the majority of people aren’t like that,” Pachter says. “They just don’t realize how their behavior affects others.”
Some other etiquette dilemmas created by technology may be hard to navigate for even the most considerate. Here are nine tips to help overcome these digital quandaries:
Go pro before you go personal. If a new business contact reaches out to you on Facebook, Swann recommends sending them a LinkedIn invite instead.
Let people know in advance if you’re expecting an important call during a meeting. “And when that message comes in, just remind the person, ‘This is what I was waiting for.’ And then go ahead and take that business away from the space that you’re in,” Swann says.
Avoid laptops in meetings when possible. They create a physical barrier between you and others. If you just need to take a few brief notes, bring a pen and paper instead.
View social media as public. “Would you trust your career to privacy controls on Facebook? I wouldn’t. They may work. But sometimes they don’t,” Pachter says. Disparaging comments about work on social media are unwise. Too many drunken photos on Facebook send the wrong message.
Leave your number at the beginning and end of voicemail messages. Some people don’t want to listen to voicemail at all. Swann recommends this to keep people from having to listen to your entire message twice to get your number.
Take both earbuds out when talking to someone. “You’ll make the other person feel as if they’re being rushed through the conversation if you leave one in,” Swann says.
Respond in kind. Because people have different communication preferences, Pachter recommends that you generally respond to an email with an email, a text with a text and a call with a call.
But realize when you need to talk. For important or sensitive matters, talking face-to-face or on the phone is best. It’s also often the easiest way to confirm someone has received your message. “The phone is still the most positive way to know that you’ve connected with somebody,” Pachter says.
Choose your words carefully when setting up a meeting. Phrases like “Let’s talk” or “Let’s have a discussion” sound serious and time-consuming. “But ‘let’s have a quick chat’ or ‘let’s take a quick second’ can be used in a text or email message to convey to the person that you need to talk to the person but won’t take a lot of time,” Swann says.
In the end, all etiquette rules are just guidelines based around the same principles – whether they relate to technology or not. “The biggest thing is just being considerate of others, being considerate of that person’s time and putting others at ease,” Swann says.